Graves - The Next Gardening Trend

One day, my husband and I was passing down a graveyard somewhere down one of the most populous streets in town. By populous I mean, is a condition of being immensely prone to traffic jams before, during and most importantly, after office hours. He, being the person unable to locate even the slightest bright side on traffic issues, started to rant about how that particular bus kenek (assistant to bus/truck drivers) is driving his knuckles itching, or how that motorcyclist needs to kiss the asphalt from acting out on the road so much. It's not something that one would consider naturally wise, but my husband is from a different breed of men, and therefore need something out of the ordinary in the matter of handling. As I watched small drops of sweat came tricking down his temples, and then veins starting to pop out, the decision to engage a conversation came as idle and swift as it could.

I started on prompting him to recite a small line from an Islamic culture whenever we pass graveyards, and he complied semi-calmly. Seeing how that intro went along nicely, I continued with my desired subject. The question that began rather nonchalantly was about the existence of graveyards in Jakarta. It is of my knowledge that the people who died and then buried on local graves continue to be an expense to their surviving family members by having them pay for the "land-rent" on an annual basis. I asked my husband what he thinks about this, and surprisingly, his discharge of the current stressful rush hour effects came relatively at ease. He opted an opinion about how the land prices would be at an escalating threshold as years go by, and that it would be such a nuisance if once we passed away, the necessity to continuously have our burial grounds be paid to the government would fall to those we left behind.

I paused at this, momentarily thinking about cremation and the sort until he (the hubby) went on about having our future graves on our own backyard. Being surprised is another thing, but I think I've passed that stage at the time, and replied him only with a blank stare. It's true that most villagers I've ran their houses into have graves or tombs of their deceased somewhat decorating either their front or backyards, but I thought it was simply a cultural thing and not more. He then continued about us nor our descendants to not be obliged in paying for the previously mentioned land rents if we have an independent location for our graves, and that the children or close relatives could just pay visit without being hassled by either flower sellers, or opportunistic grave caretakers that swarm all over. I quietly hummed an agreement when hearing all this, and being the eclectic dreamer that I am, I added some ideas concerning this particular thought.

Watching a brilliant movie called "Nagabonar Jadi 2" a while back ago, I came to a conclusion that graves are quite supple enough to be turned into something that goes far from a haunting or spiritually intimidating atmosphere. I asked my husband on the idea of turning our future graves into some sort of gardening art and the many things one can provide to beautify our house yards. This time, it was his turn to give me a blank stare against my sparkling, "sure-we-can-do-that!" radiant eyes. The traffic was not a problem anymore since we've passed it by going inside a mall, so his concentration was quite at point. I think I looked rather stupid at that time, but he didn't say anything but, "Okay... go on..."

That got me excited as I rambled on and on about creating a clean mound with swirly small fences around it with floral decorations for my personal designated last resort, while he could get a minimalist Japanese wood and stone furnish to his. The blank stare continued to aim at me, but that dumbfounded look on his face is too precious to dismiss, and I know that deep, deep, deep down in himself, he thinks this is a good idea as well. I added that we should also consider a Zen touch with white sands and yellow bamboos and thin lineups of grasses along the line, but as he quickly discovered a parking spot, the conversation had to end. In short, we agree on yet another thing despite our different approaches. As he pulled the handbrake of our car, and turned the engine off, he looked at me for the last time before unlocking the door and then quickly leaned over me to land a brief kiss on my forehead.

"You're nuts." he said with a coy smile.

-Tev-